Do we really live for ourselves?

I mean, yeah, we do, right? I know some people who avoid others and don’t care what anyone thinks. Mentally strong people. But are we sure we really live for ourselves?

If someone says you’re pretty, you accept the compliment and gain confidence from it. Sometimes, at least. But what if someone else says you’re ugly? Now your confidence is lowered, and you’re left with a dilemma.

Some people’s minds lean toward the brighter side; the compliment. That’s what we want to hear and what we’re willing to accept. But why does the opposite often matter more?

There are layers to this, and I’ll explain.

If your friends, who don’t really play soccer, always tell you that you’re very good at it, but then you play against advanced players and they tell you that you’re bad, suddenly all those compliments feel meaningless. Their opinions carry more weight because they’ve reached a higher level. Obviously, their judgment matters more than your friends’. That makes sense.

But it doesn’t always.

If two people of equal status, similar life experiences, equal relationship to you, or even similar abilities tell you opposite things; one says you’re a good cook and the other says you’re a bad cook, where does that leave you? Who is actually right?

Okay, let’s say ten people tell you you’re a good cook and one person says you’re bad. Clearly, the majority wins, right? Yet you still remember that one negative opinion more than the ten positive ones.

Even our opinions of ourselves are shaped by what’s around us.

We do live for others.

Everything we do is for others just as much as it is for ourselves. It has to be that way, or we’re slowly dying inside. We work a 9-to-5 to make money and survive, but working means pleasing employers.

“What if I own my own business?”

Then you have to satisfy employees and customers.

“What if I trade stocks, where no one works for anyone?”

Then the value of the stock depends on what others think it’s worth. You’re still hoping to be rewarded by other people’s actions and decisions.

We do live for others.

If you don’t, you’re living in a void; neutral, detached, and never fully alive. Some may not accept it, but we were made to rely on others and to be relied upon. Living requires other people.